Everyone has their demons, right? Mine were the worst ones of them yet. It’s hard to think of it now since a lot of time has passed by. I am sitting now in my living room next to the fire, and listening to the ticking of the clock. My husband is next to me but it was the hardest thing that I have accomplished. I had to make sure that he was safe before anything else. I had to fight in order to keep him safe and sound. I had to fight, and we will keep on fighting until death parts us. I love this man even though it brought me a lot of tears and pain.
Love someone who leaves so many holes in you that if they were to walk away, half of your soul would go with them.
My bloody phone woke me up at seven forty-five in the morning, I looked at the caller's ID and got even more startled than I should have. It was Green, ever since that shit head found out that I was dating the most wanted man he couldn’t leave me alone, even though I was out of the game by the age of thirty. Five years man, I started dating him when I was twenty-one and didn’t know him well, I started to get to know him while we were dating and by the time I was twenty-five and he turned thirty-one this whole mess started, he got into this mess and dragged my ass into it as well. And burning my American passport was something that added oil to the fuel since I was living in Russia at the time and not the Unites States, the Embassy of course helped me get my documents up to date,but this mess was something that wasn’t funny, this is some serious business we are talking about, he was declared as a spy in both countries just because he decided to marry me move with me, meet the wrong people and get on the wrong side of the road, all this hell knows what of a situation occurred causing a chaos that wasn’t needed or wanted. I picked up the phone.
“Please don’t tell me I have to go to the office today.” I groaned.
“Morning princess! How’s my pooch doing?” Green started laughing on the other end.
“I ain’t no pooch, I’m a royal breed!” I stammered.
“Quit the yammering wild child and bring your ass up here, we need to talk.” He dropped the phone.
Great not only am I a bloody pooch, but I have to get into that bloody office, I wonder what it is now. A dying child case where I need to go and talk to the mother and tell her it’s going to be ok, even though I know the child has nine minutes to live, or another electric chair where I have to listen to the criminal tell me his story of how it all went. Green likes to use me because people talk to me, they open up like a book, I see through them and understand, I can care less if he killed someone or raped someone, we are all people, I used to take it all bad, I used to cry and not understand why, and now I don’t give a rats ass what they did, they all get what they deserve, the only people who I absolutely hate and will never understand are child molesters, I squirm when they tell me why they did it, or even how, I’ve been on the receiving end, and honestly, it grosses me out to this point. I mean I get that it’s a mental disease and everything. But I will stick to my opinion that those people should get killed. You might think, well she’s talking about rape like she gets it and bla, bla,bla, open your eyes up people, rape, you can say that someone raped you to get money out of it or something else, you get drunk and someone takes advantage of you and that’s rape, but sometimes, when you do something like getting drunk, hear me out on this one okay? Even if you’ll get butt-hurt over all this, when you drink with men, shit like this happens, and even the other was around, so please don’t get mad at me for saying this but, we all choose what happens to us, and we cry about it later, when it’s over, is why cry over it and say that this world is so unfair. It ain’t the world that is unfair, it’s the people who surround us, if you surround yourself with idiots, monsters and animals you’ll get what you plant. So no hurt feelings alright. Just business. I know I might seem harsh and rude but I had a good teacher, the world and the people who were around me, and despite the gruesome outcomes and the dung that I’ve been through I learned how to be happy and live my life, be more positive and thrive. So please, don’t get mad. It is what it is. I got up, messy hair day and I didn’t care. I got into my Dodge Challenger Hellcat and drove off to the police department, I had a feeling that this is going to be a crappy ass day. I stopped by Starbucks and got myself a pumpkin spice latte, when I got to the police department there were not only police cars but people from the FBI and CIA, this is not good, at all. I remember when all those watch dogs grabbed me and Amanda, when my soon to be husband got into the organization called “FODFOG” which stood for Free of Death Free of Government, they stood up for people and corruption and decided to make the world a better place, but instead of that they made shit worse, like killing some people that were part of the arm controlling the government the elite members if you will, the powerful people with the money if you will. This is not going to be a good conversation I was sure of it, this is something that I didn’t want to be a part of, but if I leave now, I’ll be on the list of wanted criminals again and the SWAT team will be at my house and that is the risk that I was not willing to take, I already made the mistake of doing some shit that made it worse and I don’t want to risk my odds, even if they will be in my favor this isn’t Hunger games, this is a monstrous problem that I never wanted to be in, I would rather be dreaming rather than all this. I slowly got out of my car.
